Yummy Surprises and Just a Little Garbage!

Yesterday was a particularly lucky day for my mouth. Honestly, any day that food is available to me and my family is "lucky", because there could be a famine, I suppose. But, since food is a ready option in my life (for which I give thanks), what qualifies as luck are actually things that are nice and out of the ordinary. On top of that, Zach and I are striving to eat in a way that does not produce much garbage. This is trickier than it seems for a couple who love food and variety, and we have a long way to go.

To start, Zach bought me a doughnut on our way out of town. Doughnuts are something I never actually want to eat or even think about until someone says "doughnut". Unfortunately the craving starts at that moment and does not stop until the doughy mess is in my mouth. But it was just the one and I truly savored it! (The unfortunate thing is all the garbage that comes with a doughnut- the wax paper wrapper and the ginormously sized bag. Grrr, that's too much for a pastry. That HAS to be the last one.)

After I dropped Zach off at his job, I went to help my Grandma with housekeeping. By housekeeping I mean drinking coffee and talking politics. Then it was lunchtime and she had made her home-y beef roast with gravy and her own pickles. This is, for me, the ultimate comfort food, made even better because it was beef from an animal that grew up across the road from her house, on my Dad's farm, and the pickles grew in her garden in a former life.

Remember Old Mother Hubbard, with her bare cupboards? Well Grandma is not anything like her. When she went to her cupboard for the pickles it was practically busting open with canned goods. Before I knew it she had filled a box with Mason jars of applesauce (apples from my Dad's farm), plum sauce (plums from my aunt's tree), foraged elder berry jelly, and green beans (that she grew). It was an anti-garbage dream!

Every Friday is pizza day at our house, which used to mean either buying the plastic wrapped slab or ordering a grease-bomb in a box destined for the trash can. Now, we have a recipe for pizza crust that is strong enough to pick up, crispy and tasty, a crust that is perfect for any kind of pizza we can think up. Being that yesterday was Friday and we were out of town all day working (ok, Zach was working, I was doing "housework") we knew that there wouldn't be time for pizza making when we got home. With his brilliant insight, Zach had made up two taco pizzas that were just waiting in the refrigerator to be baked while I was at work on Thursday night. On our drive home I called the chicos to preheat the oven. They even put the pans in when the oven was hot. Ten minutes later we walked in our door to fresh-baked pizza.


Now that we avoid the individually-wrapped or boxed pizza problem, we do, admittedly, have to put on ingredients that come in their own packaging. We use cheese that comes in a plastic wrapper and sauce in a glass (recyclable) jar. Our taco pizza also had black olives and refried beans, both in tin (recyclable) cans, and we did debate whether or not to use crunched up tortilla chips on the top. They do come in a non-recyclable plastic bag... but they taste so good. In the end, we did opt for the chips. Our mouths are happy about that, and it didn't add too much to the garbage can.

Little Lard Monsters

Last night I made a pie. Today I can’t stop eating it. I’m fully obsessed with the crust, because even though it was a Peach and Strawberry Pie that was pretty wet from the fruit, the crust is the kind of amazing that flakes when you look at it, stayed crisp despite the filling it covers, and has hills of deep gold with pale, tender valleys. Everyone has a favorite crust recipe, but there is a universal secret to crusts that I’ve recently discovered, and have no problem sharing: crusts are much better when neglected. Forget pastry blending the fat (lard, in my case) into the flour until it is like little rice grains, because biggish lumps of butter or lard will melt when it bakes and become amazing flakiness. Don’t even think about mixing in the (ice cold) water until the dough is smooth. Don’t do it! You will be so much happier, and the crust so much lighter if you just stir it around a few times to get most of the flour wet, and then slide the whole bowl in the refrigerator for a few hours to chill.

When the time comes to form the crust, don’t roll and roll it until it is smashed into the counter top. Just coax it thin with your rolling pin and a dusting of flour. Yes, you will see those big lumps of butter and lard. That’s a good thing! Make sure that you keep the other half cold until you have the bottom crust filled because you don’t want the lard getting soft while it waits. After you roll the top go ahead and creatively carve some vents before you place it over the filling. Then seal the edges however you want and give the top a little massage to exaggerate the natural hills and valleys from your filling. It will be the prettiest thing you’ve seen come out of your oven all day.

Now I have a dilemma. At this point I’ve got the trimmings lying on the counter from the extra bits of edge, already rolled once. It’s no good for another pie, but it’s a shame to throw something so tasty in the compost. But, on the other hand, I hate the look of the after-thought-thrown-on-a-cookie-sheet baked crust pieces. So I bravely and barely rolled the little mass out once more. We mysteriously have funny little animal-shaped cookie cutters that the kids think are hilarious. And I have to admit that a hippopotamus shaped cookie is very funny. Stamped out hippo lard crust is just as funny. After they were sprinkled with a bit of sugar and dusted with a bit of cinnamon, the little lard monsters were ready to be baked.

Naturally, they were ready long before the pie. Just as naturally, they got all the attention. Looking like a cookie, tasting like a pastry, lasting as long as bacon at breakfast, the lard monsters were a fantastic hit. I didn’t even have time to take a picture of the charming little herd of hippos, but I know I’ll get another chance because there has been an official request for a whole zoo of lard monsters. Next time I make a neglected pie crust, my dears.